"Game over, man! Game over!"

Welcome to the House of Pain!

The last couple of weeks have been especially miserable. I'm unfortunately firmly in burnout/flare-up territory. Sometimes I know what will trigger it, but often it's just something that creeps up to launch a stealth attack.

On top of the usual chronic fatigue, the lower back pain that laid me up last year has returned. It's not quite as bad as it was last year. I'm more mobile with it than I was last time. As soon as it started coming on, I started to periodically wear my lower back brace and increased my use of my codeine stash.

Last year when it was at its worst and I couldn't move without screaming agony clawing down my back, I got relief from an emergency prescription of Tramadol. I wasn't waiting around for the pain to get worse so I booked a telephone appointment with my lovely GP.

I now have a reassuring stack of Tramadol for my back and it's also pretty good at alleviating some of my "business as usual" pain.

I also raised my current HRT prescription. I have Evorel 75 Estradiol patches. I have been on them for several years now so I queried if I was still on the correct dose since I am starting to occasionally get cystic acne along my jaw and neck again and my night sweats are increasing in frequency.

She suggested upping my prescription to Evorel 100. She's given me six months worth to see how I get on. I really hope it helps. I hate waking up in the night with a soaking wet neck and hot flushes during the day make me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious.

Frankly, Perimenopause can kiss my HRT patched arse.

I'm hoping the increase in HRT will also help with my Vestibulitis which has been a catastrofuck of stabbing needles tattooing my flaps. Joyful.

In really bad timing, my husband has also been really suffering with a pinched nerve in his neck. He has been in a lot of pain which radiates down his shoulder and arm. It's very unusual for me to the more able-bodied so I have been taking on more of the chores, so in between bouts of productivity, I might as well have a facehugger wrapped round my head for all the good I am.

I'm having to be more careful with eating fatty foods. I've had a few instances over the last few months where I've had intense abdominal pain within minutes of eating, with the pain culprit I think being fried chicken. Gallstones are a possibility so I will keep an eye on it because I don't want that kind of pain on the regular on top of the usual!

I'm trying to not let the latest shenanigans put me into a low mood because it all becomes a doom spiral of pain, tiredness, and depression which can feel so oppressive.

We have had some visits from friends in recent weeks which have been a pleasant distraction and always much appreciated. We've had a lot of laughs courtesy of Last One Laughing UK too. Never underestimate the power of laughter.

"Shhhhh! It's just magic!"

I often feel angry. I'm mostly accepting of the fact that I have chronic conditions, but particularly in relation to endometriosis, it seems like I am seeing more and more people dealing with it, and it's not good enough.

It never fails to enrage me that Endometriosis affects more women than Diabetes yet has appalling diagnosis and treatment rates and is so poorly funded for research. Gee, I wonder why? (sarcasm dripping like xenomorph blood)

If you want to share in the gynaecological rage and how misogynistic the whole system is, I particularly recommend the following books:

Unwell Women: A Journey Through Medicine And Myth in a Man-Made World by Elinor Clegorn

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

For now, I'm off work for the next seven days. We have some visits booked in which I'm looking forward to, and also some quiet time to hopefully recharge some of the batteries before they leak all over the place.