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Writer's picturebaticamoomin

"I was wondering what would break first...your spirit, or your body."

It's been a minute since my last post, which was shortly after my hysteroscopy. In terms of latest news from that, it was just today that I had a call with the consultant. The good news is that the sample they tested showed no cancerous or pre-cancerous cells and the coil seems to be doing what it needs to do.


The bad news is that nothing has changed in terms of the daily pain I experience. She doesn't want to entertain carrying out a hysterectomy at this point. She wants to have a final consultation with me in October but I was quite disheartened that it sounded like she wants to discharge me. I'm back to square one essentially. I don't anticipate anything changing in the next couple of months and I'll tell her that at the next appointment and ask what my options are, if there even are any.


So, that's where I'm at with that.


All of that has kind of fallen into the background since I ended up in excruciating lower back pain a few weeks ago. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, I just woke up one day and it wasn't right.


It got so bad that I couldn't bend or move at all without being in absolute agony. I was okay when I stayed in the same position, but it would scream if I tried to move in any way.

I have had lower back pain before as a symptom of my usual stuff, but this was different. It has never been this bad before and the first time it completely limited my mobility. Luckily, it didn't inhibit me from working because once I was in a comfortable position, I could work virtually as normal.


My usual codeine and ibuprofen were having zero effect and I was really worried that something more serious was going on.


My husband had to help me with a lot since I couldn't even bend down to put on/remove my knickers, dry my legs after showering...all sorts of regular activities I don't usually have to even think about.


I got an emergency telephone appointment with my lovely GP. She was incredibly kind and sympathetic and asked if I could make it into the surgery but I told her that my mobility was so bad at that point that I didn't think I would be able to. She prescribed me with 2 weeks worth of Tramadol and said to see how I get on and if things were no better, I need to go in to see them. She said that because it sounded like my pain wasn't caused by an external trauma, that these things usually heal on their own.


My husband dashed off to pick up my prescription for me and within an hour of taking the first tablet, I noticed a marked improvement in my movement. It was still incredibly painful, but my range of movement was better. That same morning, I had been in agony just trying to sit on the toilet and this time it was a lot easier, so that was encouraging.


I was still in a quandary about it being most painful when I moved because while it was a relief to have the reprieve of being able to be reasonably comfortable, I still needed to be able to move. I decided to try out a lower back brace and I think that really helped, coupled with a daily walk around the block, accompanied/supervised by my husband.


One of the worst sensations of this back pain was when it felt like I was being dragged down. I'd be walking and then it would just feel like I wasn't going to be able to support myself.

I made sure to take the Tramadol and ibuprofen at the correct intervals, wore my back brace and continued my daily walk. Most days it was more like a hobble and I would suddenly be caught out by a particularly bad arrow of pain, but I did notice slow improvement.


I was also anxious because this was running up to a busy weekend of plans to celebrate my husband's birthday with our friends. The night before the planned picnic, it was very hot and towards the end of the evening, the Tramadol had started to make me feel sick and didn't sleep well at all. I'd given my husband a heads up that I might have to stay home from the picnic, but luckily in the morning, I did start to feel a bit more levelled out and it turned out to be a really lovely day.


It was the same the next day when we had plans to go to the pub for lunch, but I was able to do that too.


It's been nearly 3 weeks since I was prescribed the Tramadol and things are so much better now than they were then. I'm only taking one a day now and if I keep at that, I have enough for another 8 days. It's still worst first thing in the morning but it does level out throughout the day. My movement is much improved. I still can't fully bend but it's amazing in comparison to where I was just a few weeks ago.


Now I'm back to my usual battle with fatigue after a period of socialness. I'm not going to complain too much about that because considering how much pain I was in and how low it had made me, I was able to do the things I wanted to do and I'm grateful for that.

Hopefully, by the time my Tramadol runs out, I'll be even further improved, but the next time I speak to the doctor, I want to talk about it as a potential alternative to my codeine because it has been effective with my usual pelvic pain as well, or it might just be that for a while, my lower back pain was just louder.


As bizarre as this might sound though, it's reassuring to getting back towards my "normal". At least that, as horrible as it can be, is a known quantity to me. It's familiar and I have strategies for it. This almost incapacitated me and that was scary.

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