I was reeling from self-inflicted stress when I wrote my last post. Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely excited and looking forward to our Hallowe'en party. It's always such a good time with very special people.
I think I just became trapped in a vicious circle of panicked thoughts. Piling on pressure on myself about not enough being done. I think getting it out in my last blog post did help though.
It also helped that the day after I wrote that post, we made a huge amount of progress and by Friday night, we were almost ready. It meant that on Saturday morning, we weren't in a huge rush trying to do too much before people started arriving.
The party was worth all of my mental dramatics. It was wonderful to spend time with people. Everybody had amazing costumes and I haven't laughed so much in ages. The house, despite all my histrionics, was beautifully lit and spooky.
In the morning, I was feeling very rough. Thankfully, after lots of orange juice and a Crusty Cottage breakfast and I was feeling more alive.
On Hallowe'en morning, I had to stay in bed until lunchtime. My body was bound to need it after all the funs, but I am so grateful to it for what it managed to achieve. It battled through backache, headaches, tiredness, a hangover...and that's a lot. I've been floored by much less.
After a couple of restorative cups of tea, I wore my Hallowe’en gift from my husband, a gorgeous Collectif dress. I loved the whole ensemble. I made up some sweetie bags for the Trick or Treaters and then we had spooky pasta and meatballs for dinner and put our feet up to watch Hocus Pocus.
Despite the rain, we had a few groups turn up. They were all really lovely and polite. One group heard that we were watching Hocus Pocus and were excitedly talking to me about the second one. I was in my happy place.
I have some really bad days sometimes. I have days where my mood is dark and bitter. Which means I am so grateful and want to celebrate the happy days. My body isn't my enemy. It's a bit broken but it worked really hard this last week and enabled me to come away with some lovely memories. It's not a monster. It's just misunderstood.
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