The Borderlands

Things have moved along since my last post. I'm actually going into surgery tomorrow but more on that later.

Just as I was starting to get a bit stressed out and impatient for my renal scan results, I received a telephone appointment to discuss them with my urologist. I'm glad I didn't have to trek back to the hospital to get the results. I have really started feeling exhausted from so many hospital trips, diagnostic and blood tests.

The renal scan results confirmed what the CT scan showed. I have an obstruction at the junction of my left kidney.

At this point my kidney is still functioning, which is good. It's doing 42% of the work with my right kidney picking up the slack. He said if left, it would only continue to decline and eventually I would lose function and it would need to be removed.

In my previous post, I mentioned that pyeloplasty surgery had been discussed with me so I was already aware that would be a likely course of action. They basically cut out the obstruction and join the ends together. He did also mention another option of having a stent put in but it would be very uncomfortable and it would need to be replaced under anaesthetic every six months. Yeah, no.

So, pyeloplasty it is. It all sounds a bit futuristic as it's performed via robotic laparoscopy. My urologist doesn't specialise in that particular surgery so he referred me to another urology surgeon. At that point, I had received a surgery date for my toupet fundoplication so I wasn't sure if both surgeries could be done together, or if the pyeloplasty would have any implications on my other surgery date. It was my preference to have them both done together, but now I have more information, I'm glad that is not how it is going to go. I don't want to put my body through all of that at once.

After meeting with the new urologist, it has been decided that my hernia operation can take place as planned and the pyeloplasty will happen some time in August. He said I will need three months to fully heal from the toupet fundoplication.

He explained the pyeloplasty in more detail which brought me down to reality with a bit of a bump. Once the blockage has been cut out he will put in a stent for support. I will need to have a catheter for a week and the stent will be removed after three weeks.

I asked about recovery/time off work and I was surprised to learn I would need at least four weeks off work. I think he could tell I hadn't realised it would be that long but he said there will be so much discomfort that it would be impossible to concentrate. The stent will go into my bladder and it will feel very weird and would also make me feel like I needed to go to the toilet all the time.

It's not that I hadn't taken it seriously before, but I think I just have this habit of minimising what I've been going through. He was very serious when he said that my toupet fundoplication is a major surgery and the pyeloplasty is also considered major surgery. Same with my gallbladder removal. I didn't have three major surgeries on my bingo card for this year.

Minimising is partly a defence mechanism, I think. If I dwell too much on it all it gets very overwhelming.

It's not going to be fun, of course, but I am grateful that my GI surgeon was so thorough after my gallbladder removal to send me for a CT scan which led to discovering my massive hernia and the kidney obstruction. According to my renal scan results, the kidney issue was picked up at the perfect time when it seems function has only just started to decline. I haven't had any symptoms that I'm aware of so I'm really lucky that it has been caught in plenty of time.

My toupet fundoplication surgery is happening tomorrow. My admission is 12:30pm and I will hopefully find out soon after where I am on the list. I will be staying overnight which will be a bit strange for me as all my previous surgeries and procedures I have been out the same day.

Hopefully all will go according to plan and I can be discharged the day after. They will try me on porridge to see how I am with eating and I will be on a strict "sloppy" diet for the first two weeks. So plenty of soups, porridge etc. Apparently my oesophagus will be so swollen after the surgery that I will have difficulty swallowing.

I'm obviously not looking forward to another round of surgery, and recovery will not be fun but the reward at the end will hopefully make all this worth it. Pain attacks are becoming more frequent and lasting longer, and vomiting is also increasing in frequency. Each time that happens I get anxious that that will be the time that the gastric volvulus (stomach twisting) strangles me and cuts off blood supply.

I'm nervous of course about the surgery, but also anxious to get it over with.

Today it is incredibly warm, which I'm notoriously bad at dealing with. I'm spending today trying to move as little as possible so I don't end up a horrible, moist mess. I will be getting my hospital bag ready shortly. Thankfully, I will have my own room in hospital and it has air conditioning. That will be the first thing I make sure is running when I get there tomorrow.

I've been vacillating between feeling reasonably chilled out about it all, and feeling overwhelmed about what my body will still need to go through before all this is hopefully resolved. That's the other thing; I was still in awful pain after my gallbladder removal, I'm terrified that my body will continue to troll me after my hernia has been repaired. I'm dreading still getting the same pain and being back to square one.

Meanwhile, my "usual" stuff has been playing up so there have definitely been days where it's all gotten too much. Reaching limits of coping with pain. Just getting through days feeling exhausted and heavy and empty.

I'm trying to focus on positive things. I've had conlusive answers from my diagnostic tests, and I have received a lot of support and understanding from my husband, family, friends, and work colleagues.

My husband in particular has been with me riding this rollercoaster. So many hospital visits, pain attacks, vomiting...and a lot of exhausted crying.

Tomorrow is hopefully the first step in getting myself in a more comfortable position and I can start to enjoy things I have previously taken for granted, like eating!