I have picked myself up on a bad habit of mine. Over the weekend, I was pretty productive. Got some houseworky type stuff done. When I made a post about this on Facebook, I caught myself doing something that I think I often do. Instead of just feeling good about being productive, I had to caveat it with "for me".
It's like I automatically have to diminish myself and what I've done by explaining or apologising for not doing more. Why do I keep qualifying my existence? It's not enough that my body is constantly attacking itself, I need my brain to do it too.
Why do I care what people think or the assumptions they might be making? I go from feeling good about managing some household tasks to minimising it by implying I could or should have accomplished more and then end up feeling *meh*.
Now that I've caught myself doing this regularly, I'm going to try to stop. It's not a helpful thought pattern and really, I probably don't need to keep inserting my conditions into everything I say or do. Or qualify my existence to anyone.
From now on, if I achieve anything, no matter how minor I might consider it to be to others, I'm going to try and just enjoy it for what it is. I did a thing. Enjoy the thing.